The World Of Enlightened Relationship

Why is it we hide beneath the layers and qualities of relationship interactions? Why hide in relationships? Why not reveal ourselves? The answer is that we seldom know ourselves. Most of us have not taken the time to reflect on our creative nature. At Higher Alignment, we recognize 4 levels of relationship: Instinctive, Intellectual, Idealized and Intuitive. Some of us are aware of the instinctive level because we have developed an attraction to certain types — such as seeking blond-haired partners. We may not realize that we associate a sense of safety and cuddliness with being blonde or looking for strength in a ‘tall, dark, and handsome man’ to protect us. Others grasp the intellectual control and structure imposed on partners – and by partners – to compete for power. Very few have mastered the idealized or intuitive levels of connection. 

This means that most of the population does not even sense the full range of experiences available in a relationship. They assume that what they see and experience is all there is. They believe that what they currently know about relationships is what everyone knows. Here is a new perspective: the co-dependent attractions of Excitement, Intensity and Anxiety create isolated, separated and insulated relationships. These attractions form imbalances between our experiential modalities — sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts — causing friction, irritation, and distorted thinking. 

Instinctive relationships are a time of innocence and chaos. We try to show up but do not know what we need to be successful in a relationship. We seek our partners based on appearance attractions and how these reflect common interests and similar goals, beliefs and ways of acting in the world.  But being seen at this level means that we have to share the same expectations, beliefs about how the world should be.

Imbalances cause fear-based isolation – the first obstacle in these relationships – that encourages conditional agreements where we want others to adapt to us. This creates conflict and resentment when our needs are not aligned. What makes this worse is that we seek familiarity, even if it actually increases our fear (such as choosing parental pattern substitutes). Even when we know our own sensations and feelings, any imbalance within ourselves drives us to connect with counter-balanced partners. Because we are too scared to be present and balanced in our senses and feelings, we become attached to the co-dependent isolated patterns of excitement. Higher Alignment has identified how to develop the internal balance that creates Aliveness, rather than excitement, supporting better choices.

On the intellectual level, we feel internal conflict as people use positions to express their non-aligned ideas — not realizing that reaction minimizes truth. Without balanced emotions and thoughts, any truth is incomplete, so – when others disagree with us, we feel the need to defend ourselves. We usually separate and lock down our thoughts and emotions into individual fixed positions. This creates pressure to conform and agree with allies, even if their positions are ‘wrong’ or incomplete.

This is how positions become ‘impositions’ on others. The more we impose our thinking on others, the more they react and need to disagree with us. So, our need to be right means we are competing with others to our own detriment. In the short term, this Intensity seems to help us because it represents fighting for our position (which is incomplete) or fighting to be independent. Authentic truth is inclusive of all perspectives and unites us rather than dividing us into positions. Higher Alignment has identified how to develop this inclusiveness.

We build our character by identifying with our ideals. This opens the door to confusion and complexity when we buy into the ideals of others. How can we maintain our Autonomy when we start making the good ideas of others our own? When we embrace our own ideals, we become fixated on comparing ourselves to others, trying to prove who is better. 

This can be seen in how people who have just quit smoking or eating meat then begin to judge those who do. This is measured by self-importance and is expressed as ‘relative goodness’ based on acts of kindness or compassion. By comparing ourselves to others – by comparing our level of kindness and compassion to others – we destroy our natural goodness and ideals, creating separation and anxiety.

Comparisons cause anxiety because they often misrepresent our sense of Self. Each person has their own virtues, values and skills that are not quantifiable. Our desire to be in charge drives us to compare ourselves to others rather than work with them. Imbalanced feelings and emotions create drama, envy, and a desire for superiority. This reveals that we do not know how to treat and love ourselves, but we can talk on-and-on about how we treat each other. Is there any way out of this?

Conscious connections reflect the capacity to creatively respond and not react. What keeps us from a conscious relationship is our own lack of understanding about our creativity, design, and capabilities. We need to remember to connect to our creative source by taking moments of Stillness, Solitude, and Silence to reflect on our purpose. This connects us to the universe and its support.

Instead of holding on to experiences of scarcity, we need to move into our creative abundance. We have all tried to do it alone, only to find that the way to transform our world is to work together. Our capacity to experience our own Life, Light and Love energies is at a low ebb when Excitement, Intensity and Anxiety predominate. Our consciousness is growing beyond independent, personal and transpersonal levels into global awareness through a conscious connection.

The ability to connect to ourselves and others comes through our sensations, feelings, emotions, and thoughts, which we call modalities. Most of us overdo, underdo, or refuse to engage particular modalities, making us a prisoner of our personality survival and success programming. Our personality identity depends on these imbalances and misperceptions to build the roles we seek to express. Each misperception creates adverse reactions when we engage others and promote dissonance and fear about who we are. Imbalances create co-dependence, but they also inform conscious individuals about their own challenges and limitations. There is no way for us to hide, as people become aware of modality expressions. The motivation to create better relationships comes from our discomfort in these co-dependent connections. 

This question is: Are we going to learn the easy way or the challenging way about growing ourselves and our relationship possibilities? Will we continue to insist on learning the hard way by using the world and all its people as a counter-balance for our own internal unbalances – the other side of our seesaw? If so, prepare yourself for many life changes and lessons from the school of hard knocks. Relationships are fun and are not work when we move beyond our personality lessons. Is now the right time to make an investment in great relationships? Whatever brought you here is critical. Please explore this possibility because so much of your life is at stake. 

Higher Alignment is seeking conscious individuals who want to reclaim their own experience and consciously relate to others. Rather than choose unbalanced partners to counter-balance us, why not balance ourselves? In this way, we can take ownership of our creative nature to make our own choices. Co-Creative capacity requires balancing our sensations, feelings, emotions, and thoughts and affirming our Primary, Secondary, and Mental Body expressions. These seven elements allow you to express your unique being without compromise. Instead of feeling caught in conditioning, defenses, and idealizations of partners, we can choose how, where, and why we want to connect. 

Higher Alignment suggests that every individual has a unique creative contribution that is part of their inherent design. What is your design, and how can you come into complete alignment with it? We explore this in detail in the following articles and provide classes at HigherAlignment.com. Conscious, Co-Creative relationships build our capability to know ourselves completely. Hence, we act with purpose and learn how to make the most significant contribution to serve the world.

Using Higher Alignment tools, you can determine who is best for you rather than choosing unfulfilling co-dependent relationships by default. Or, if you are willing, you could transform the relationships you are in. You could learn about yourself and your partners to honor each other. Higher Alignment is starting a movement to awaken people to their inherent beauty, truth, and goodness. We are not dramatic or idealized, just practical. This path requires us to transmute our body fears, transform our defensive perspectives, and transfigure our personality ideas of love into Radiant Self Unifying Love. Easy, right???

There are things to learn about yourself. Which of the seven creative expressions on three different levels describe you? You could find out more about this here. This is not a simple path because it requires us to shift our energy, sense of timing and embody new spatial capabilities, like energetic presence. It is time to open our eyes and accept that we are not in Kansas anymore (unless you are). The co-dependent world of Oz is not as mesmerizing as we once imagined. We invite you to look behind the curtains in four steps (Instinctive, Intellectual, Idealized, & Intuitive). Each level of relationship adds a new dimension of complexity. We invite you to engage these levels so you can grow beyond them. Maybe, like Dorothy, you need to believe in yourself and click your heels three times to awaken to these dimensions!

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